   2014 Audi SQ5. Click image to enlarge |
Review and photos by Brendan McAleer
Here’s your first piece of useful consumer advice: never, ever, ever buy a dark blue car. Don’t get me wrong – it’s my favourite shade to drool over in the sales brochure, but it’s just the worst to keep clean.
Still, for the 3.5 seconds this Estoril Blue Audi wasn’t swathed in what the news channels are calling The Pollen Vortex, or Pollengate, or Pollenocalypse 2014, or what-have-you, it did look pretty neat. But buy a silver, white, or grey one instead; trust me on this, dark blue is even worse than black when it comes to the dirt and scratches of everyday life.
Everyday life is, of course, what this little crossover was designed for, and with the number of them on the road today, you’re virtually guaranteed to see one of them every single day of your life. The Q5 might not look particularly stunning, but the public appears to find it irresistible and is snapping ’em up by the boatload. To date for 2014, it’s outperforming entry level luxury stalwarts like the Mercedes-Benz C-class and the BMW 3-series. There’s a thrifty diesel, a workaday four-cylinder turbo, and Audi’s ubiquitous supercharged six-cylinder. Now, there’s also this.
Let us briefly pause here in silent remembrance of the fallen S4 Avant, equipped with a glorious 4.2L V8 that sounded like the Norse god of thunder and drank high-octane like some sort of internal-combustion-powered Dionysus. What a great car that was, albeit cramped and thirsty. If you ever come across a stick-shift one with decent mileage, snap it up – they don’t really depreciate.
However, the S4 Avant’s been dead since 2008 in North America and fast Audi fans who need to haul cargo have either had to buy an S4 sedan and a trailer, or get an S7 and a second mortgage.
Happily, now there’s an S-version of Audi’s hot-selling compact crossover, and isn’t it quite… hmm. Boring? This week’s tester arrived shod with 19-inch alloys and snow tires despite the warming weather, and they rob the SQ5 of much of its factory-infused aggression. What with the way the offset fails to fill the wheel arches, it looks like Ichabod Crane wearing a pair of board shorts.
I absolutely love this sort of thing. Wagons are a dying breed, but luxury crossovers are everywhere, particularly Audi’s version. Despite the quad exhausts out back and MiG-21-sized radiator grille up front, that makes this particular machine something of a sleeper; five minutes with a heat gun and some dental floss to get the badges off and it’d be absolutely perfect.
On the inside, the SQ5 is basically a Q5 with all the goodies out of an S4 sedan. Thus you get lovely leather sport buckets embossed with the SQ5 logo up front, a small-diameter, flat-bottomed steering wheel with paddle-shifters, and a melange of brushed aluminum and carbon-fibre-look trim throughout the cabin.
The trunk is decently spacious at 824L, and as the power liftgate incorporates the rear taillights, there’s a large opening. The low loading height is suitable for the family pet to scramble in, although you may want to get 3M film applied to the rear bumper.
   2014 Audi SQ5. Click image to enlarge |
Rear passenger accommodation is a bit more of a mixed bag. While there’s plenty of space for a rear-facing child seat and/or enough room to make sure little legs aren’t “massaging” the bejesus out of your spleen, there’s also a colossal central transmission tunnel. Whomever gets crammed in the stiff, flat middle seat is going to be doing hard time.
Back up front, driver or passenger has the usual suite of Audi tech to play with. The satellite navigation is straightforward to use, although I would prefer a larger touchscreen display here, and the voice-recognition worked for programming in addresses with only a hiccup or two. I always feel like I’m having a conversation with a Speak N’ Spell with these things, but at least in this case it wasn’t an argument.
Infotainment functions are controlled through Audi’s central scroller and four-button arrangement. If you’re upgrading from a previous Audi product, this setup with be familiar and easy-to-use, but if you’re jumping ship from BMW or Mercedes, it’ll take a bit of getting used-to for hands-free operation.
Parking this car in my own personal garage would require two immediate fixes. First, I would have to actually build a garage – I currently just have a driveway. Second, I’d have to buy a $40 cable from the local Audi dealership because this car requires a special connector to attach your iPod. You could, of course, just default to Bluetooth streaming for audio.
Under its pedestrian-looking hood, the SQ5 boasts a supercharged 3.0L V6 that cranks out 354hp at 6000rpm and a solid 347lb/ft of torque at 4000rpm. Audi advertises this bump in power by fitting “V6T” badges to each of the front fenders. Quite frankly, Audi, we don’t need no stinkin’ badges, and we certainly don’t need no badges that indicate an inability to spell the word “supercharged.” I believe Audi formerly tried to claim the T was for “turbosupercharging,” but that’s just the long-form version of turbocharging.
Like I said, a heat-gun would nix the niggles. Besides which, this is a lovely engine, possessed of a very flat torque curve and stupendous off the line grunt. It doesn’t sound quite as growly and burbly as the long-lost S4’s V8 once did, but the power delivery is far better as is the fuel economy. Peak torque at 4000rpm might not sound all that fierce, but there’s plenty of instant-on shove.
   2014 Audi SQ5. Click image to enlarge |
So much torque, in fact, that the 235-series Pirelli snowies with which this steed was shod would periodically throw in the towel. That’s right, wheelspin at all four corners. Let me play you the song of my people.
Not in a straight-line, obviously. The ZF 8-speed automatic transmission is as good here as it is elsewhere, and Audi’s Quattro system is great at getting the power down. From a stop when turning left or right, however, injudicious throttle application was capable of briefly overwhelming available traction.
Neat stuff, and certainly a barrel of laughs in what is, essentially, this decade’s version of the Griswold Family Truckster. While others might set the car up differently, I found the sweet spot in the Audi drive select to be transmission and chassis set to dynamic, and the adjustable exhaust set to comfort. No extra power is unlocked by cranking up the volume, so why not speak softly and be fleet of foot?
There are only two real dynamic complaints to bring to bear against this latest addition to Audi’s S-range. First, the steering provides almost no feedback, and even in sport mode feels overboosted. Sure, it’s light and easy to drive, fitting the nature of a crossover, but you’d think they’d allow the driver to dial in a bit more weight and involvement via the Drive Select system.
The second issue is weight, and at 2000+kgs, the SQ5 is considerably porky. What’s more, while the ride has been stiffened over the standard Q5, this top-heavy crossover isn’t a revelation in the curves. It’s great at blasting out of turns, but dive too hard into the corners and between the soft steering and high centre of gravity, it’s a trifle underwhelming. Doubtless the snowies are somewhat to blame here as well, but it’s more ho-hum than it should be.
After dropping my wife and daughter off at the Aquarium for a member’s event, I scurried across town in the SQ5 to catch the tail-end of the local Cars and Coffee gathering. The day was spring-like and warm, with cherry blossoms already dropping from the trees, and the city’s gearheads were obviously spurred on by the good weather – on the way there I saw a gleaming Ford GT, a spotless Volvo P1800, and a conga-line of air-cooled 911s.
   2014 Audi SQ5. Click image to enlarge |
The little parking lot was full, besides which the SQ5 had no business worming its way in amongst the Lamborghinis, ’60s muscle, and svelte European classics. The local dealership even showed up with a 911 RUF CTR of all things (while this one was red, you might remember it better as the 200+mph Yellowbird), and there were all manner of other rare sportscars to behold.
The SQ5 isn’t a sportscar, and nor is it a rarity to be preserved for future generations. It’s a consumer good, something to be purchased, enjoyed, traded-in or eventually discarded.
For all that, it was one of the best all-round vehicles I’ve driven yet this year. The high seating position gave a commanding view as I scooted back to the Aquarium, the long-travel suspension soaked up the rutted pavement without much fuss, and the ‘charged-six and eight-speed conspired together to give a little extra shove to make up for the fact that I was – as usual – running late.
When I got there, I loaded up the kid without stooping over to break my back, cracked open the panoramic roof, and dialled up the tunes. The SQ5 sailed on through Stanley Park in the sunshine while Goldilocks snoozed in her car seat.
Not too hot. Not too cold. Just right.
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Pricing: 2014 Audi SQ5
Base Price (Progresiv): $57,000
Base Price (Technik): $59,600
Options: $5500 [$800 – Estoril Blue Paint; $500 – Carbon Atlas inlays; $3200 – Navigation w/ park assist; $1000 – B&O Sound System]
Freight: $1995
A/C Tax: $100
Price as tested: $67,195
Competitors:
BMW X3
Mercedes-Benz GLK
Acura MDX
Infiniti QX70
Crash Test Results:
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA)
Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS)
