Test Drive: 2009 Mini John Cooper Works

2009 Mini John Cooper Works. Click image to enlarge

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2009 Mini John Cooper Works

Toronto, Ontario – When it comes to performance driving, weight is enemy Number One. Similarly, if you’re trying to squeeze every rolling metre out of a litre of fuel, too much junk-in-the-trunk is not the way to go.

Following this line of reason, a lightweight car with a highly tuned small displacement engine is a formula for fun and efficient motoring – and it leaves a small footprint in a congested city.

Checking all these boxes is the 2009 John Cooper Works Mini – a Mini Cooper S coupe with a serious injection of oats. The 1.6-litre DOHC turbocharged four is tuned to crank out 208 horsepower and 192 lb.-ft. of torque from 1850-5600 r.p.m., up 36 and 15 respectively from the Cooper S. Put your foot in it, and there is an overboost function too that momentarily kicks the torque up to 207 lb.-ft. – this, in a 1,225 kg car.

Of course “Mini” and “John Cooper” are synonymous with diminutive giant killers, as the legendary Mini Cooper and Cooper S of the sixties, tuned for BMC by Mr. Cooper, proved to be formidable rally competitors. I know of what I speak: my first car was a ’68 Mini Cooper, and although the only thing holding it together was the rust, it was one hell of an entertaining shoebox.

2009 Mini John Cooper Works. Click image to enlarge

Ditto for this Germanic/British descendent, born as is it 41 years later. Truth be told, the 2009 JC Works Mini would chew up my old Cooper for breakfast and spit it out in small, ferrous pieces. This car is very quick. Deceptively so in fact, so it’s a good thing the central speedo is the size of a manhole cover. “Street Racing” velocities sneak up on you in the blink of an eye.

How many times has the Mini’s handling been compared to a go-kart? Enough for me to visit a couple of kart-racer buddies who were doing some testing at Goodwood Kartways. They thought the car was a hoot, and confirmed its dynamics were somewhat akin to their high-powered karts.

Thanks to some bespoke suspension tuning and sticky 205/45R17 Continental ContiSportContact footwear, the Mini’s already quick reflexes are notched up to Chihuahua-on-amphetamine levels here. Turn-in is crazy quick and the upgraded Works brakes require a light touch. With the Sport button on the console engaged, throttle response sharpens too. It takes a little while to recalibrate your inputs to drive this car smoothly.

One thing you can’t smooth out is the ride – on rough roads you’ll think you’re sitting in a paint shaker. However, when lasering through bends and feeling the neutrality in the chassis (you can actually coax some oversteer out of this thing) all is forgiven. I can’t remember ever getting to apply a little opposite lock in a front drive car. Now that’s entertainment, folks!

2009 Mini John Cooper Works. Click image to enlarge

On the flip side, this car settles into a comfortable cruiser at 120 km/h with the little turbo four humming away at 2800 r.p.m.

My tester had a lovely tan leather interior and the $1,900 JCW Comfort Package that includes a large double sunroof, heated front seats, automatic climate control, rain sensing wipers and auto headlights. The $750 audio upgrade sounded very good too. Fit and finish are exemplary. It’s your call whether the interior design is super-cool chic or Fisher-Price gone horribly wrong.

Externally, the JC Works Mini gets a more aggressive front fascia with unique grill inserts, 16-spoke lightweight alloys, a large rear spoiler, and a pair of honkin’ chromed exhaust tips. They broadcast a pretty sexy bark too, along with a charming repertoire of pops and farts on overrun.

Yes, the 2009 Mini JC Works might be as cute as a puppy, but beware, it pulls like one too. Saab Viggen, please step aside: we now have the new poster child for torque-steer. Hammer the throttle in second gear and you’re fighting to keep on the straight and narrow. It doesn’t let up either. Do the same at 100 km/h in third gear and it will still try to yank you into the corn.

2009 Mini John Cooper Works. Click image to enlarge

All part of the fun, I guess. The 2009 Mini JC Works is nothing if not hugely entertaining. In this time of the automobile morphing into a safe, competent and comfortable entity, it’s refreshing to jump into a rip-snorting tinder-box that grabs you by the cojones and begs to be thrashed. If you’re bored in this car, you might be dead.

All this fun comes with a price, however. The 2009 JC Works Mini lists for $38,390, with this specimen coming in at an eye-watering $43,715. There is also a JC Works Clubman for $39,990.

Comfort can be taken in the fact that the mutual thrashing between myself and JCWM burned only 9.1 L/100 km of premium fuel.