By Jordan W. Charness

This has been quite the week for parked car stories. I even had the unfortunate privilege of living through one, not that I hit a parked car myself. Well, not recently, anyways. Make no mistake about it: hitting a parked car is always illegal. It will always be the driver’s fault no matter how creative the excuse may be.

Someone told me that he hit a parked car because “that car really should not have been parked in my way!” Another guy said that he had just given the parked car a gentle nudge to open the space up big enough for him to park his own car in. And lastly, someone else hit a parked car because the car was black, and it was night, and he couldn’t see it in his rearview mirror.

Here’s a typical story that I just heard. Linda is a beautiful blonde who is very smart, and would never be the subject of your typical blonde jokes. However, her driving skills need a little work.

She told me that she tried to squeeze into a parking place in the parking garage in her building. She wasn’t sure whether her SUV would fit in the spot and she kind of aimed her vehicle into one of the side-by-side slots. On one side was a concrete column and on the other, a big yellow car.

You guessed it: her truck didn’t fit, and she had naturally shied away from the concrete column and took out the front right quarter panel of the parked car. She says that she immediately burst into tears and then parked her car several rows away. Doing the right thing she then went upstairs and reported the incident to security. The security guard told her to write a note and leave it on the windshield of the car that she had hit leaving her name and phone number.

She did just that. She then sat all day uncomfortably waiting for the phone to ring. It never did. It was only four days later that she got a phone call from someone that she knew as an acquaintance at the place that she worked. Her acquaintance told her that it was her car that Linda had hit four days previous.