The weather forecast might as well be a big fat frowny face; with the shards of a spun-out Pacific hurricane piling up against the West coast, it’s going to be rain, rain, more rain, some more rain, even more rain, and then a light drizzle followed by a moderate deluge with a 50% chance of little old bearded men building wooden boats and gathering the animals two-by-two. And then some rain.
Well, to Hell with that. No, genuinely to Hell with that – I’ve got a strong contender for the most-engaging Porsche in the lineup sitting in the driveway, and I fully intend to storm the gates of Hell. Five am. Kick the covers off. Crank the AC/DC. Kick it.
No stop signs, speed limits, nobody’s gonna slow me down – oh wait, no, there are quite a lot of speed limits actually. Oh, hello Constable. Surely to goodness the RCMP isn’t gonna mess me around, are they? But that’s not in the lyrics!
Thus the beauty of the Cayman, a Porsche, yes, but one that doesn’t owe its entire appeal to unstoppable thrust. I spent a little time with a 911 Turbo earlier in the year and while it was spooky-fast, it was also one of the more nerve-wracking cars I’ve driven. Not in terms of dynamics, but just in how effortlessly it accumulated speed; how fast am I going? Is that a cop? Maybe I can tickle the throttle here? Yes? Wait, is that a cop? How about now? Is that a cop? Is the coast clear? Is that a cop? Am I a cop? It was a little like being a character towards the end of a mob drama – phenomenal power, but try to exercise it and the fuzz are gonna clip ya.
This GTS is the fastest Cayman yet – Porsche execs did the “can’t comment on future product” thing when asked about a return of the R, but hinted with all the subtlety of Eric Idle. Wink-wink nudge-nudge snap-snap grin-grin, we all know it’s coming.
However, the R’s racing buckets and silly door-pulls do not a useable street car make. Even if a more high-strung Cayman comes along, I maintain that the GTS will remain the best car in the Cayman/Boxster range for the driver who just wants to have a hellaciously good time. It’s fast, but it’s not unusably fast.
2015 Porsche Cayman GTS, dashboard. Click image to enlarge
Essentially, this car is less a specific trim than a grouping of options you could already put on an S model, garnished with smoked headlights and blacked-out aero trim, and given a 15-hp bump and a cool badge on its tail. On paper at least, the GTS looks like a car created by accountants and marketers working hard on what people would pay for. “Here,” they said to the engineers, “Add in 8.75 percent more dynamism and emotion. That’s what our customers want.”
And so they did: 20-inch alloys, a sport exhaust, Porsche Active Suspension Management (PASM), that 15-hp bump, and the Sport Chrono adaptive throttle. You also get a lovely Alcantara-lined interior, those cosmetic goodies on the outside, and bi-xenon headlights – it’s basically $20,000 in Porsche options for two-thirds of the price.