Review by Jacob Black, photos by Jonathan Yarkony

Recently, I got married. My wife and I had selected a perfect location down in Ontario’s wine country, and we were married with the Niagara escarpment behind us, ablaze in the hues of autumn foliage. (It’s my wedding, I’m allowed to wax poetic.)

2014 Audi A7 TDI
2014 Audi A7 TDI
2014 Audi A7 TDI
2014 Audi A7 TDI. Click image to enlarge

For the wedding, we were supplied with two of Audi’s finest. An A8 TDI in midnight blue, and an A7 TDI in bridal white. What better way to arrive at the most important event of our lives? Both were stunning, both were luxurious, both carried the gravitas of the day on their broad shoulders with precision and poise.

But who would take which car? White for the bride, midnight blue for the groom? It wasn’t going to be that simple.

And so, our latest Pop Quiz pops the question, which of these two regal luxury cars is the ultimate in wedding-car glory?

1. Are you marrying up?
A: Yes, yes I am
B: No, of course not, we’re both equals
C: Yes, yes he is

If you answered A: The Audi A8 is as aspirational as they come. It is large, assertive and commands the road with an undeniable presence. Its styling is also not very confrontational. The A8 seems content to let the svelte A7 have the limelight – and so are you.

If you answered B: Aw, that’s cute of you to say. You sound accessible, maybe even inviting. You don’t need pomp or ceremony, you probably are happy just to have a beautiful day, with the people you most love around you. You’ll enjoy the more welcoming visage and playful silhouette of the A7.

If you answered C: Oh, you definitely want the A8. You are bold, assertive and you don’t fuss about with frivolous faffery. You like things neat, uncomplicated and forthright. Stout, even.

2. Your relationship is:
A: A partnership, we steer together through all obstacles
B: Give and take, we take turns taking care of each other

If you answered A: You will enjoy the more driver-centric A7. It is a car to be driven. With its head-up display, sporty appearance and more nimble road manners, the A7 is a driver’s car; and both of you are drivers.
If you answered B: What’s wrong with taking turns at the helm, while the other relaxes? As long as you take equal turns, and we always take equal turns; right? If the A7 is a car to be driven, the A8 is a car to be driven in. With massaging seats (although those were in the front when they really ought to be in the back), a silken ride and a rich, stately ambience, the A8 is for those of you who like to be taken care of.

2014 Audi A8 TDI2014 Audi A8 TDI
2014 Audi A8 TDI. Click image to enlarge

3. I like to…
A: Be noticed
B: Be discreet

If you answered A: What can be more attention-grabbing than a vivid-white fastback four-door coupe like the A7? With its wide haunches, swooping back and self-raising (or manual if you like to keep it up) spoiler, the A7 turns heads like only a bride can. First they see the car, then they see you, then they see your dress. They’re jealous, they’re happy. They love you, they hate you.

If you answered B: You’ll appreciate the relative subtlety of the A8. It still has enough presence and gravitas for people to know it is something special, but without the flash and awe of the A7. It’s rich, and elegant, and maybe even a little bit decadent, but it’s no big deal. The A8 is like the perfect tuxedo. You look good, but not so good you’ll upstage the real star of the show.

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