It’s a rare treat when a listing goes above and beyond the call of duty and elicits genuine mirth in its unsuspecting audience. Today, we recognize the seller of a 1985 Dodge 250 in Winnipeg.
UPDATE: She’s off the market, folks. But the complete text of the ad has been preserved below.
Say you’re in the market for something that’ll haul all your junk. Anyone can sell you a pickup truck. No, you’ve been around the block, you’ve had your turn with a shiny new F-150. It wasn’t your speed. Sometimes you look to the horizon and you wonder what could have been. Wonder no more.
29 years young, this beauty is in her prime and has been proven to be more reliable than a Manitoba weather forecast. She will make some heads turn and you will never have to worry about your wife wanting to drive your truck again. Aftermarket radio can almost catch every country station around and cassette player will have you yodeling Achy Breaky Heart with your old tapes.
Sure, she may not remember the days of the 8-track and she’s too rough and tumble for LPs, but she’s got heart.
Fresh non-synthetic oil, recently replaced spark plugs/wires, battery, rebuilt alternator & starter, rebuilt transmission in 2010 means you can use both drive and reverse gears. New front tires will have you sticking to the road like maple syrup to a pancake. Flintstone style floor pan can help circulate fresh air while driving, new floor pans included but not installed.
You won’t find her in the centre spread of one of those glossy magazines. No, she’s in a class of her own.
Includes luxurious imported Mexican blanket which does a great job covering the worn out drivers side seat. Slant 6 engine has proven tough like a ram and is even lightly coated with a dark rust preventing fluid (otherwise known as oil). Exhaust pipe cut off somewhere under the truck and not visible from behind, possibly making others think it is a super eco-friendly electric vehicle. She’s so eager to work she often drops her tailgate, so I’m even including a brand new Princess Auto rubber strap to help keep her gate up.
She’s upfront about what she needs – she’s no phony. She knows every relationship has a little give and take.
Every couple weeks she increases in value by about $100 (when filled up with gas). A diamond in the rough, she may need some TLC to safety. With a little love this classic can have you hauling your neighbours junk around the city for years to come!
So it comes down to this: are you in it for the long haul?
See the original ad on autoTRADER.ca
— autoTRADER.ca (@autoTRADER_ca) July 18, 2014
A special thank you to Peanut for bringing this ad to our collective attention.