You know I've got to comment since I own a Juke. Jacob, good to see that you "get" this vehicle. Great, hilarious article. Obviously, looks are subjective, but to me an "ugly" vehicle is one that may be disproportionate, lots of overhang, mismatched pieces, etc. The Juke's uniqueness and overall statement it makes is consistent. To me, at least, it's really good looking. Hey, vanilla is out there if that's what you want.
Fuel mileage I have found to be fair. In pure city driving, it excels (8.0 or better), but doesn't improve much on the highway (probably the snout). I have the 188 hp AWD - the 215 hp Nismo may be worse. Nissan also cleverly improved the cargo capacity of the 2014 by 40%. Seems the floor has been deepened. Should now hold about 49 cu. ft. with seats folded.
Nismo version does look good. Over time, I'm going to incorporate some of the pieces on mine (LED strips/lights, spoiler, etc.). 215 hp in a vehicle weighing just over 2900 lbs. should get you to 60 in mid 6's. As was said above, priced well also.