Update:
Bossman just came in, said the rim was repaired in 3 hours (on his driveway) and cost $150. He (a discerning rich guy) is apparently thrilled with the results (I don't know where he parked today - I went down to grab a pic but his car isn't in his spot).
Since he was expecting to pay $1,500, and I found him this guy who did it for 1/10th of the price, he just gave me $500. SWEET!
...and then said he's "gonna drive like a maniac now since repairs are so cheap!" He has a great sense of humour!
Thanks to all who suggested that the rims could be repaired! I shan't be sharing my $500 with you