Author Topic: Friday Funnies III  (Read 1109460 times)

Offline Sir Osis of Liver

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2860 on: November 20, 2015, 02:33:43 pm »
^ :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

H. L. Mencken

Offline Brig

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2861 on: November 20, 2015, 05:45:31 pm »
Love it!   :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Offline PJungnitsch

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2862 on: November 20, 2015, 07:00:09 pm »
'Waterfall' waterbed display in German furniture store.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/9wm-Ge8LL7o?rel=0

Offline EV Dan

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2863 on: November 21, 2015, 10:17:42 am »
Dmitry Rogozin, vice-premier on the recent refusal of Baltic countries to join Russia's led coalition in the fight against IS, via his twitter account: "Well, they really wanted to but their troops got stuck in an elevator"  :rofl2:
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach the man to fish and he wakes you up at 5 in the morning.

Offline Sir Osis of Liver

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2864 on: November 21, 2015, 01:17:28 pm »
'Waterfall' waterbed display in German furniture store.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/9wm-Ge8LL7o?rel=0

That's funny! Especially the two at the end. They seemed to have a really great sense of humour.  ;D

Offline johngenx

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2865 on: November 21, 2015, 02:40:33 pm »

Offline Railton

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2866 on: November 21, 2015, 03:35:13 pm »
And...he is in doo-doo with his own personal taxes. Not that I know or anything. :shuffle:
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2015/11/21/tax-lawyer-philippe-dioguardi-guilty-of-professional-misconduct.html

Railton
Do you realize that in about 30 (updated as requested) years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Offline EV Dan

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2867 on: November 21, 2015, 07:49:45 pm »
Elon Musk on Big Bang Theory:
https://youtu.be/KGR5HP3KSBk
That awkward nozzle moment  :rofl2:

Offline random006

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2868 on: November 23, 2015, 01:38:13 pm »
How some people handle winter:

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum.    -    John Nada (played by Roddy Piper) in "They Live"

Offline Arthur Dent

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2869 on: November 23, 2015, 04:01:32 pm »
Most Canadian crime ever? Man robs convenience stores armed with snow brush

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-buzz/armed-and-dangerous-convenience-store-caper-174320261.html

Offline random006

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2870 on: November 25, 2015, 02:29:39 pm »

Offline EV Dan

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2871 on: November 27, 2015, 07:48:07 pm »
Yep. Please don't bring EVERYONE to TO and Vancouver  :P

Offline random006

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2872 on: November 30, 2015, 11:30:28 am »
"Why I'm divorced" (written by a woman)


That morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday,' and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.'

I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... they will remember. My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office I felt pretty low and somewhat dejected.

As I walked into my office, my handsome boss, Rick, said, 'Good morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday!' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.' I said, 'Thanks, Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'It's such a beautiful day... we don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?'

He said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner.

After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, 'If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.'

OK.' I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my husband , my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday.' And I just sat there... on the couch... naked. And that's why I'm divorced...

Offline random006

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2873 on: December 01, 2015, 12:39:06 pm »



Reminds of a bit of dialogue from the TV series "Firefly".   ;D

Offline tooscoops

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2874 on: December 01, 2015, 04:33:42 pm »
lately i have been on a tear of bad jokes.... the one that people seem to like the most is this one;

did you hear why the archaeologist was so depressed?...


... his job was in ruins.
i used to be addicted to soap, but i'm clean now

Offline safristi

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2875 on: December 01, 2015, 05:32:12 pm »
 Whose yer MUMMY?......archeologists like it dirty....I have a bone in my pants ;D
Time is to stop everything happening at once

Offline tooscoops

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2876 on: December 01, 2015, 06:55:49 pm »
my nephew is a bit of a crazy kid... 7 years old, so sometimes just says dumb things...

on sunday at dinner he asked, "uncle mike, why'd the chicken cross the road?"... "i don't know, why?"... "to get to the ugliest person in the world's house!".... *insane laughter*

... ok... i just shrugged it off as a kid with issues with punchlines. the evening went on and ten minutes later he comes back up to me...

"uncle mike... Knock knock...", "who's there"... "... the chicken".

what a little jerk!

Offline random006

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2877 on: December 08, 2015, 05:01:38 pm »
Snowy will get a kick out of this one:   :rofl2:


Offline random006

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2878 on: December 11, 2015, 04:40:44 pm »
One for the holidays:


Offline safristi

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Re: Friday Funnies III
« Reply #2879 on: December 11, 2015, 05:32:21 pm »
 ??? ::)  if a ginger haired man works @ a bakery does that make him....wait for it...stand out from the others... ;D :stick: :cp2: