that shopping list is worthy of drool..
what about maserati grand tourismo? second hand, their value drops like rock, but ferrari engine, four seats.. i know it's got automatic( automated manual... ), but it's gotta be a nice ride.
RS4 is a nice option as well. so is 1M, (i'm sure kids will fit in the back) but they are so limited in number.
OMG, how could i have forgotten, CTS-V!!!!!! since you are looking at M3 sedan, might as well look at CTS-V too. 560 supercharged HP.. and OHV chevy engine doesn't sound too bad either. worth a look, right? ones with magnetic ride control will give you comfort carting kids around(more cool points for you if you get a wagon), and when you want to boogie, press a button and voila, monster.