I want a minivan.

[BigSplash]

 I want a minivan.

Although it sounds like an innocuous desire, I am often met with a barrage of disparaging groans and snickers when I admit this in mixed company. “Don’t do it!,” the crowd will yell as they look at me with mix of horror and pity on their faces. Apparently, minivans symbolize something undesirable to many people. From what I can gather, many believe that purchasing a minivan is tantamount to surrendering any chance of being hip, spontaneous, and most importantly, sexy. I think this population of knee-jerk minivan-phobes is sorely misinformed.

I will concede that my desire for a minivan is pragmatic, even banal. Basically, I want the ability to transport more than just my family of four in a safe and comfortable fashion. Right now, I can offer an extra passenger in our car about eight inches of butt space (complete with lap belt) between two booster seats in the backseat. I know that in the good old days, we piled ourselves two deep into the front seat and such, but there are laws against that now. Besides, I want a vehicle with some room to stretch out during long road trips.

So, the only vehicles still currently being manufactured that offer the kind of space I want are oversized SUVs and minivans. While an oversized SUV might render me cool in some circles, my personal belief is that if you own that type of vehicle, you better damn well be using it to pull a large boat or horse trailer - not to take your kids and their friends to the movies. This belief makes the minivan the obvious choice for me.

When I explain my logic to the anti-minivan camp, they inevitably conclude that I can circumvent this dilemma by purchasing the apparently now hip and ironic full-size station wagon. Strangely enough, nobody ever suggests the full-size conversion van - complete with swivel seats and card table -which, if you’re into being ironic, has far more bang for the buck. But that’s beside the point. My point is that I’m not going to choose some piece of station wagon over a minivan. It may be hip in some circles, it is certainly has an air of spontaneity, but in my world view there ain’t a damn thing sexy about a station wagon.

So lately, I’ve taken a different tack. It is this. I am claiming, with a straight face, that minivan is really the sexiest ride around. First of all, if you need a minivan, you’ve been getting busy on a regular basis in the past few years and you have the goods to prove it. Secondly, anybody who has taken a ride in the recent crop of minivans cannot tell me these vehicles don’t offer a smooth ride. If a smooth ride brought Prince to a falsetto in Little Red Corvette, the minivan can do the same for fathers in their 30s and 40s. Finally, all that space I’ve been talking about? I have a friend, a mother of three, (I am not making this up) who insists that the biggest advantage of her minivan is the ample space it has for her and her husband to get down to business while the kids are at piano lessons. If a vehicle in which you can have sex is not sexy, then I guess just don’t get it.

While I don’t really expect people to believe that the minivan is the sexiest vehicle out there, I do think that people should realize that things like hipness and sex appeal are both relative and subjective. I’m going to buy the car that suits my needs regardless of what other people say, but I’m going to have some fun doing it, and part of that is changing the image of the minivan, one group of nay-sayers at a time.

So all you folks with your Subarus, your mini-SUV’s, and your cramped sedans, listen up. The question is no longer “is the minivan cool?”, but rather, “are you cool enough for the minivan?”

[Sir Osis of Liver]

When minivans can hit 6.5l/100km, I'll agree.

[Arthur Dent]

Well first of all congrats to you for realizing you don't need some huge body on frame suv. Minivans are very practical and for a family the only disadvantage they have compared to a SUV is lousy towing capicty. Oh and they are horrible to work on. But given they lack extra driveshafts, diffs, locking hubs, etc of SUVs the maintaince is still probably less. Just pay the mechanic to change those rear spark plugs.  

We have a Nissan Quest which is the most funky of the modern avaliable minivans. The older Previas were neat looking too so it doesn't have to be a brown Sienna.

[Scaerio]

But if you are looking for the most trouble free minivan, stick with the champagne-beige Sienna or Odyssey.

[dr_spock]

What models do you have in mind? 

Your friend should get room somewhere. 

[initial_D]

  I need a new drug before I need a new minivan. 

[rrocket]

I think the Mazda5 is a cool minivan...

[safristi]

I need a new drug before I need a new minivan. 

Id ya get a RIDE inna back of the Van....................it's SAFE 6 airbags and THE PILL...

[Stuff]

I think the Toyota and Honda van's are somewhat cool looking. The others, you will just look like a loser.

[initial_D]

I need a new drug before I need a new minivan. 

Id ya get a RIDE inna back of the Van....................it's SAFE 6 airbags and THE PILL...

MiniMe and 6 AirBags? ...  How is it gonna fit in the back ... of the van? 

[Scaerio]

I think the Toyota and Honda van's are somewhat cool looking. The others, you will just look like a loser.

Get the Sienna.  You'll look really cool, just like this guy.

[Titanium48]

Well first of all congrats to you for realizing you don't need some huge body on frame suv. Minivans are very practical and for a family the only disadvantage they have compared to a SUV is lousy towing capicty. Oh and they are horrible to work on. But given they lack extra driveshafts, diffs, locking hubs, etc of SUVs the maintaince is still probably less. Just pay the mechanic to change those rear spark plugs. 

We have a Nissan Quest which is the most funky of the modern avaliable minivans. The older Previas were neat looking too so it doesn't have to be a brown Sienna.

Or just get one with a 4 cylinder engine to avoid the spark plugs hiding in the back problem.

I'd like to see a minivan that is actually mini and not a 2000 kg hulking monster.  Start with a 5-door subcompact hatchback, make it 10 cm wider, stretch the wheelbase by 30 cm and add 20 cm of rear overhang.  There is now room for a third seat between the rear wheels while the middle seat has become wide enough to accomodate 3 people with a modicum of comfort, giving a total seating capacity of 7.  Add a set of rear hinged doors (like you find on extended cab pickups or saturn "quad coupes") to access the rearmost seats.  The whole 7-door, 7 seat package should come in under 1500 kg and be adequately powered by a 2.2L 4 cylinder engine, giving decent fuel economy.

[UmroAyyar]

BigSplash 

Most people I heard arguing against the minivans are the ones who have never experienced the utility of that kind of vehicle compared to a mid-size SUV. I was part of that crowd until I encountered a situation with 3 children in booster seats, 4 adults, with two strollers in the cargo area behind the 3rd row seats.

Minivans are large vehicles and are quite fuel efficient compared to the similar sized SUVs, much more comfortable to sit in, even the 3rd row seats, I have. The mini-minivans like Mazda5 and Rondo are OK for transporting people/kids, but you lose a lot of cargo area for the above described situation.

BigSplash, you've got it right, there are other insecurities some people try to inhibit by proclaiming 'Its not cool/hip or my style'.

Anyhow, what do you drive right now and what minivan you are planning to purchase.

[rrocket]

Well first of all congrats to you for realizing you don't need some huge body on frame suv. Minivans are very practical and for a family the only disadvantage they have compared to a SUV is lousy towing capicty. Oh and they are horrible to work on. But given they lack extra driveshafts, diffs, locking hubs, etc of SUVs the maintaince is still probably less. Just pay the mechanic to change those rear spark plugs. 

We have a Nissan Quest which is the most funky of the modern avaliable minivans. The older Previas were neat looking too so it doesn't have to be a brown Sienna.

Or just get one with a 4 cylinder engine to avoid the spark plugs hiding in the back problem.

I'd like to see a minivan that is actually mini and not a 2000 kg hulking monster.  Start with a 5-door subcompact hatchback, make it 10 cm wider, stretch the wheelbase by 30 cm and add 20 cm of rear overhang.  There is now room for a third seat between the rear wheels while the middle seat has become wide enough to accomodate 3 people with a modicum of comfort, giving a total seating capacity of 7.  Add a set of rear hinged doors (like you find on extended cab pickups or saturn "quad coupes") to access the rearmost seats.  The whole 7-door, 7 seat package should come in under 1500 kg and be adequately powered by a 2.2L 4 cylinder engine, giving decent fuel economy.

You've almost described a Mazda5.....

[Sir Osis of Liver]

I need a new drug before I need a new minivan. 

Id ya get a RIDE inna back of the Van....................it's SAFE 6 airbags and THE PILL...

MiniMe and 6 AirBags? ...  How is it gonna fit in the back ... of the van? 

Now those are airbags I could get behind!

[Sir Osis of Liver]

How to be cool in a minivan

Zoom Zoom Indeed!

[Mitlov]

I'd find your openmindedness for minivans more praiseworthy (i.e., "I do think that people should realize that things like hipness and sex appeal are both relative and subjective") if you weren't so snotty about "piece of station wagons."  As things stand, I think you're a bit of a hypocrite.

Here's an obligatory sexy wagon shot for your viewing pleasure

[UmroAyyar]

Here's an obligatory sexy wagon shot for your viewing pleasure

No argument there. 

[Mitlov]

No argument there. 

And that's not even getting into the 420hp V8 that revs to 8250 rpm, the six-speed manual, and the full-time AWD.  Yummy.

[Snowman]

I think the Toyota and Honda van's are somewhat cool looking. The others, you will just look like a loser.

  Coming from a guy who drives a G5