2013 Porsche Cayenne GTS
2013 Porsche Cayenne GTS. Click image to enlarge

Review and photos by Jonathan Yarkony

If you’re spending more than six figures on a vehicle of any sort, a reasonable expectation is that the car is, in some way, special, or makes you feel special. Enter the 2013 Porsche Cayenne GTS.

Now, in any trim, the Cayenne is more of a practical family hauler than a Porsche sports car, but that is just fine with the gazillion owners who fund Porsche’s motorsports programs and sports car development. Fine by me, too, as a fan of the brand’s history and sports cars. Their trucks? Well, that would take some convincing.

However, introduce a bellowing, naturally aspirated V8 and a bunch of suspension and performance upgrades, and the GTS begins to separate from the SUV flock. But a fast SUV on its own isn’t enough to earn ‘special’ regard from the thin ranks of clientele that can afford to shop for these pricey über-utes, or us jaded automotive writers.

No sirree, fast SUVs are a dime a dozen these days, and you can’t throw a rock in a Yorkville garage without hitting one and setting off its alarm. To be ‘special’ you need a secret weapon. Well, it might not apply to every Cayenne GTS, but this one’s secret weapon was green. As in, radioactive, eye-searing, glow-in-the-dark Peridot Green.

Let’s get all the clichés over with in one paragraph, shall we. In the week I had it, if I did not refer to it as the green monster, turn other drivers green with envy or hear that it ain’t easy being green from colleagues, then there was always someone ready with a quip about a reactor meltdown or the colour of money, which you must print in order to afford this thing. Frankly, it never got old for me.

2013 Porsche Cayenne GTS2013 Porsche Cayenne GTS
2013 Porsche Cayenne GTS. Click image to enlarge

Now, green is not a colour I would ever normally recommend or enjoy on a car, but this was special. Between the colour, the throaty roar of the V8 at full tilt and the interior brush strokes of green seat belts and green stitching on the racy alcantara-lined seats, this seemed like a bespoke, custom job rather than a Forest Hill housewife’s school shuttle.

Then again, it serves that purpose, too. For a week, green was my daughter’s favourite colour, and I found the height ideal for wrestling her into her seat. My wife, however, at five feet, found the seats and sills too high for easy entry and child installation. I found that the sills were also exposed to road slush and suffered a couple pant-leg messes upon exit.

Cargo space is also family friendly, although it seemed almost too nice with its dark, thick carpeting to throw in our mucky stroller and messy gear.

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